Friday, February 13, 2009

Resolve

To all of you out there. You know who you are.

I don't know if you noticed, but I'm tired of everything. It's not that I've stopped caring or loving any of you. It's just that my eyes have finally been opened to where this will all lead me.

It's a constant cycle, and a depressing one at that. I make a good, close friend, and before I know it, I'm having my heart ripped out piece by piece. I have to be there for your troubles. I have to be there to encourage and motivate you. I have to be there to make sure you don't go to bed in tears. And yet, with all this, I only seem to recieve coldness is return.

It's not that any of you despise me, oh no. I can only hope that the amount of my time I pour into you can be compared to how much you care for me. The issue is that I'm always, in the end of any drama or argument, left alone out in the cold, loveless and tired. I feel like I'm the father of all of you; I give until I've got not nothing left, and only get a quick "thanks" and a hug in return.

I don't think I can even consider love a beautiful thing anymore. Drake and Jake. If these words don't ring bells to you, you haven't known me for nearly as long as you think you have. After these two, I could only hope that I could move on, and believe somehow that God has a special person reserved just for me. But as of yet, it seems not.

I may not be the most perfect person on this planet, but I love you all and continue to give you all I've got. My ultimate fear, though, is that I'll find myself constantly giving until the day I die, and never recieve anything in return. If there's one thing I could ask of any of you, it's please, don't let me suffer that fate.

"To be trusted is a greater complement than to be loved."
- George MacDonald

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